I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
