I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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