I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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