youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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