Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
