my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize