He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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