Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
