so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
