i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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