i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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