:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
