On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
