the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
too bad you live with your parents still
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have feelings that need drinking.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
