FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
