Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
