guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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