So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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