apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We have so much sex to catch up on
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
