I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
