I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
