he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
vagina is talking i cant
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
