Jerry, you need to find god
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
