Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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