I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
