then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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