Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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