He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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