I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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