Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
