Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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