Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
one might say we're banned from that church
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
