What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
