i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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