apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
