Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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