Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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