Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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