My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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