i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In theory, it seemed like it would work.