lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick