Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So many bounce houses so little time
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina