Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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