Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
