this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Say something about gay babies.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
