good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Houston, we have a blender
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
