where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize