It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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