She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
