i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dear god my vagina.
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