Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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