I'm jealous of your bromance
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
