Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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