I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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