yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
