I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
